The Bullocks

The Bullocks

Friday, March 26, 2010

What are they thinking?

My children cannot possibly be using their brains sometimes. Tucker came be-bopping into my room at 4:30 AM saying that he and Tyler were hungry and wanted breakfast! Are you kidding me? I was VERY asleep and just said "Absolutely not! It's 4:30 in the morning! Go back to bed and go to sleep - NOW!"

I heard some noise and a light flick on and off in the pantry. I'm not sure if they got anything. Again...I was asleep. About an hour later, Tucker comes back into my room asking me to help him go potty. I get up and realize he is still wide awake. It's pretty apparent that he has not gone back to sleep. So, after he goes potty, I take him back into their bedroom and find Tyler under his blanket on the floor with a bottle of water and playing his DS! I'm not sure what Tucker had been doing. He was probably just watching Tyler since he couldn't find his own DS (it was in my purse).

I was not so patient at this point. I scolded them and made them get back in their beds. That was around 5:30. At 6 am (on the dot), they come out of their bedroom like it's time to get up. I am not fussing anymore. I simply put my head under my pillow and try to go back to sleep (although not very effectively). Tucker came in again just after they got up asking for food again. I said "No. Go away and let me sleep!" (I'm not a morning person, especially EARLY morning.) He walks away saying he'll just get a pop-tart. Fine with me!

As we are getting Tyler ready for school a little later, I ask him how early he really got up, and what he was doing. He said he had been up for 2 hours before I came in their room. I'm not sure how accurate that is, but they were obviously up well before 4:30 this morning.

I just don't get it! What are they thinking?!?!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Bubble Wrap

I've decided that I should probably wrap Tucker in bubble wrap for a while, or full pads, like hockey equipment. The child apparently thinks he's indestructible. He was a little cautious when he hurt his arm before he got the cast on, but since then, he's been crazy! There is nothing he has not tried to do even though he has a cast on his arm.

The night he got the cast, he was back on our trampoline, totally uninhibited. And I should mention that he was also bitten all over his feet by ants the morning of the accident that he hurt his arm.

The next day, he was riding his bike in the driveway and sidewalk in front of our house. He fell and skinned his knee pretty good.

The next day or so, he and Tyler are trying to play soccer or something in the living room, and he somehow hits his head on the window sill, and he now has a big bruise on his forehead.

That same day, the boys are on the trampoline, and as is typical, Tucker has to use the bathroom. They don't like to have to come in the house while they are outside to do this, so they don't! I look out the window to see Tyler standing behind Tucker "holding" him still while Tucker has his pants pulled down enough to pee off the side of the trampoline. They've been told not to do this, but it obviously didn't stop him. Tucker loses his balance and falls off of the trampoline, going head first to the ground, pants down and all. Thankfully, he was not hurt.

One of Jeremy's favorite sayings is, "If you're going to be stupid, you'd better be tough." Well, although I don't want to call my children stupid, they do a lot of things that really could be considered stupid, at least to grown-ups.

In Tucker's defense, he is a pretty tough little boy. Through all of the things he's been through, he has not once taken any Tylenol or Motrin to ease his pain. Now, this is really due to the fact that he is hard-headed (stubborn) and will not take medicine. But, he's dealt with whatever pain he has been in. He has not complained out the cast once. And when he has been hurt, he either doesn't cry, or doesn't cry for long. This is also how we knew that something was really wrong with his arm. He cried for longer than normal and was not trying to use it and keep going like he normally does.

I think God has sent extra guardian angels, or at least one really good one, to be with Tucker. Even though his arm is in a cast now, it is a small break and is supposed to heal in 3 weeks. He could be hurt so much more with all of the things he tries to do.

I still feel like getting some bubble wrap or hockey pads to put him in!

All I Need

At church yesterday morning, we sang a song that had the phrase, "I believe that He is all I need." As I sat there with a sleeping 3 year old in my lap (because he refused to go into his class), I had to really think about what I was singing.

I have sung many times, and know in my mind, that He is all I need. But, when I saw the "I believe" part at the beginning of that phrase, it made me stop and really think about that.

Do I really believe in my heart, not just know in my mind, that Jesus is ALL that I need?

I've been having a really hard time the past 2 weeks as Jeremy was out of town for a couple of days, and then he's had to be at work for long hours and even this weekend, both Saturday and Sunday. I just do not function well without him around to help me with the boys and to just BE here with me to talk to, look at, and do the things he does to keep me sane and happy.

So, this popped into my head as I'm examining my heart. If Christ is really all that I need, why am I so dependent on Jeremy for happiness and well-being? I am still working on figuring this out, but here are some of my thoughts.

At first, I thought that I'm just not near enough to God to let Him be truly all that I need. This is true, but I don't think that is all there is to it. I thought about the marriage relationship and what God intended it to be. "It is not good for man to be alone." God created man and woman to be "helpers." God put Jeremy in my life to help me, and for me to help him. God uses our spouse to bring us what we need in our lives, like love and friendship.

Although I do feel that my emotions and my state of mind may be a bit too dependent on Jeremy at times, I also do not want to discount our relationship and what God intended for us. I DO need Jeremy to help me keep my sanity many days, and I am much happier and function better when he is home more and available to me and the boys. It also helps to know that he would much rather be at home with us than at work, but sometimes he has to be there for longer hours and we just have to adjust to this (even if we don't do it very well). And I do not want to ever make him feel bad for having to work during these times. It is part of his job, and I understand this. He works hard to provide for us and I appreciate what he does, and that it enables me to stay at home with our children. But neither of us likes it when he has to be gone so much.

So, I guess I've come to the conclusion, at least at this point in writing, that I do believe that He (Jesus) is all that I need, but I need to work on the action part of this in relying on Him more to be my strength each day. I also believe that He has sent Jeremy to me and often times uses him to strengthen me and help me through hard times, and keep me happy through good ones. I keep my faith in God, and he sends people to me to provide what I need at that time, whether it be Jeremy or any of my other family or friends. I am thankful to God for giving me such wonderful, and godly, family and friends that I can turn to.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Tucker's Cast

Okay...so here's the story of how Tucker's arm is now in a cast. Typically a story like this would sound something like..."He fell out of a tree and broke him arm, so now he's in a cast." Well, this story is a bit more complicated.

Tyler had a Cub Scout den meeting at someone else's house on Monday night. Tucker (a.k.a. Bug Scout) wanted to go too, even though he was extremely tired. So, Jeremy took them both. Of course, I don't object to being left home alone.

Just as they were about to leave the den meeting to come back home, the boys were on a trampoline. I was told they were not being rough, and no one saw exactly what happened. All we know is that he fell - ON the trampoline (not off of it). He was obviously hurt and crying. He was not really moving his arm and was in obvious pain, so I took him to the urgent care clinic down the street from our house. Let me remind you that he is still extremely tired, and most trips to the doctor for him involve a shot, so he was NOT happy about it until I was able to reassure him that he was not getting a shot. Still, he really just wanted to go to bed.

Well, we get to the urgent care and they ask what happened, poke and prod, ask him "does this hurt?" about 100 times, and do an x-ray. Their diagnosis: "I think it's just bruised. He should be better in the morning. We'll wrap this Ace bandage around him to help support it."

So, we go home with the Ace bandage. I'm relieved he's not hurt that badly. He goes to bed and sleeps fine.

Another note...he doesn't take medicine, so no Tylenol or Motrin has been put into his body at all since this happened. He's gonna be a tough boy. Or he'll have to be since he's stubborn! :)

The next morning, Tuesday, I look at his arm and it is swollen. I remove the bandage, thinking it's swollen just because he had it wrapped and he was sleeping on it all night. I think the swelling goes down some, but by the end of the day, it is still very swollen. He still has not used his arm for anything all day.

The next morning, Wednesday, I check him again and the arm is still swollen. After talking with Jeremy, we decide I should take him back to the doctor. I decide to go back to the urgent care place since they do not charge for "follow ups" and they had already done the x-rays there.

So, we go in and there is a different doctor in there this time, so I explain again what happened, as far as I know, and what's been going on since we were there last. He recommends getting more x-rays to see what it looks like now. After that, he comes back in and says "It's 'Nursemaid's elbow.' " This is basically a dislocation in children 1-3 years old. He says that he could try to feel around and get it back in place himself, but if it didn't work, he would send us to the orthopedist. So, he is feeling around, trying to move things in my baby's elbow to "get it back in place." Tucker's face was turning very red, and he was holding his breath and would let a grunt out every once in a while, trying so hard not to cry or scream.

The doctor stopped and said he didn't feel like it went back in and asked Tucker if it still hurt and if he could move it around and do things with it. Tucker said no, that it still hurt. So, they kindly set up an appointment with an orthopedist for us. When I get home, I look and see that this doctor is NOT covered on our insurance, so I proceed to call our pediatrician, explain to the phone nurse what happened and ask her who we should call that is on our insurance. She gave me a number, but I wasn't getting through, so I called her back and she managed to set up an appointment for us. She told me the appt. time, but said to just get there as soon as we could!

So, we go to The Bone & Joint Clinic of Baton Rouge to see Dr. Walker. After filling out a lot more paperwork, we get back to the room and wait a while. This has already been a long day and Tucker and I were both getting tired and I'm getting frustrated. Tucker is still climbing and jumping on and off of things, really trying to stay awake, but making me nervous about hurting himself more...or again.

We had brought the x-rays already taken with us, courtesy of Ascension Urgent Care, so the doctor is able to look at those before he comes in to see us. After introductions and courtesies, he asks me to explain (again) what happened. Again...I tell what I know. He kind of smiles a little smile and nicely says that he thinks there may actually be a small fracture and NOT the Nursemaid's elbow.

At this point, I am getting mad at the other doctors for not catching this, and am still cringing thinking about the doctor trying to put whatever he thought was dislocated back into place in Tucker's elbow and the unnecessary pain he put him in! But, when I asked this doctor, he defends them saying that it is a small fracture and can be difficult to see on an x-ray. When they zoom in to what they are looking for, the actual fracture would go out of the picture, so they wouldn't see it. He said he was not surprised that they missed it. This really doesn't make me feel a whole lot better about the whole situation. But, I am thankful that we were able to get to a doctor who knew what he was talking about and what to look for.

So, we go do MORE x-rays. But this time, we're getting the right view to look at where he thinks the fracture is. We go do the x-ray, wait a little longer, then are taken back to a place that looks like pre-op. I'm still not really sure what's going to happen or what the end result will be. Soon Dr. Walker comes in and smiles his gentle smile again and says, "Well, it is a fracture. And we're going to need some protection." He laughs as Tucker is jumping off of the stool while we are talking and says, "Tucker, you just don't know what you're doing to your mother." :)

I ask him what he means by "protection" and he tells me he needs to be in a cast for 3 weeks! So, I went from Monday night being relieved it was just a bruise and not dislocated or broken, so the dislocation scenario, to the final answer being broken! What a roller coaster of emotions for a mother, although for whatever reason, I haven't really been terribly emotional about it.

Tucker has been quite a trooper through all of this. He thought the x-rays were cool, which is good since we did them 3 times! He got suckers everywhere we went. He didn't cry or scream other than when he got hurt - not even when the doctor was really hurting him trying to put his "dislocated elbow" back into place! And he sat still as they put the cast on him, even though he didn't really know or understand what was going on. And he got to pick the color he wanted his cast to be, which pleased him. Blue is his current favorite color, so that's what he picked.

Perhaps his calm demeanor, that he apparently gets from his Daddy, has helped keep me calm through all of this. He didn't seem like he was in unbearable pain at any point, so I didn't freak out at any point. But I also think that God has given me what I need to be the mother of little boys. I've managed to remain calm through this ordeal, as well as other things like Tyler's tooth being knocked out (another trampoline accident at someone else's house).

I also find it ironic that they only have these accidents when on trampolines at other people's houses. We have had our trampoline for almost 3 years and they haven't been hurt. They've also spent hours on the trampoline at my sister's house with ALL of their cousins and haven't had any accidents or injuries.

So...that's the long version of how Tucker got his cast for his first broken bone! It is not slowing him down at all! He slept fine last night...didn't wake up once. He was back on the trampoline briefly last night. I wouldn't let him on it before when he was not using him arm, but once he got the cast on, we figured it was okay. :) He's ready to ride his bike, do flips on the couch, and whatever else he can do, which is pretty much everything he could do before.

(And a special thanks to my sweet friend, Amie, who is always willing to help out. She picked Tyler up from school and kept him at her house while Tucker was getting his cast put on.)








Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My Calling

I am thankful that God has shown me what He has called me to do with my life - at least for this stage of my life. Being a wife and stay-at-home mother is definitely my calling, even if I feel inadequate and overwhelmed most days. I know without a doubt that this is what God has called me to do.

While my kids are growing up, I am going to be there for them for everything they do and say. I am investing my life in trying to teach them how to be the best that they can be, and to have a heart for God. I am also allowed the time to invest in my marriage. Although the kids can wear me out a lot, I am not also worn out by another full-time job that depletes me of all that I have left to give. I can save some energy and attention for my husband for when he gets home from work.

Now, ideally this would happen like June Cleaver, who is still perfectly groomed, energetic and positive at the end of every day. But in reality, this is not the case. But God has allowed Jeremy and I the means for me to be able to stay at home, which can allow me the time and energy I need to focus on our home - my husband and children - and prepare myself to greet my husband in a loving way and do my best to give him the attention that he needs and wants.

I thank God daily for this gift. It really is a gift, even if there are days I'd like to give it back. :) But I am really not ungrateful for this gift. I treasure it. And I thank God that I know I am doing what He wants me to do with my life.

Honestly, I've wanted to be a wife and mommy since I was a little girl. This was my goal. I do not see this as a lack of ambition, as some may see it. I do have a degree in accounting, which I have used, and may end up using again...we'll see. But, God's calling has been clear to me, and I am thankful for the opportunity to make it possible. God has provided the way for it to happen.

There was a brief time when I thought it was not going to work out just like I wanted it to. After Tyler was born, I actually put him in a daycare and went to work. On paper, we didn't think it would work for my income to be totally wiped out. So, I went back to work, a crying mess. My employers were very gracious and understanding. My boss's boss, the CFO of the company, suggested that I take 1/2 days that first week back. What a blessing that turned out to be, in many ways.

Long story short...one of those afternoons that I got off at lunch time, I went to pick up Tyler and went out to run a few errands. I stopped by my former employers' office to show off my new baby. While I was there, they asked about my work situation, and I told them honestly that I was working again, but didn't want to. I really wanted to be home with my baby, and that if I could find something I could do from home, that desire would be possible.

Well, the following week they called me and asked if I would be interested in doing their accounting work again, just as I had done before. Only this time, they have it set up where I can do it from my home! Can you believe this? Only God could have worked this out!!! I was amazed, but at the same time, I knew how much I had prayed, and how much my family and friends were praying for me. This was God at work.

Of course I told them I'd have to discuss it with Jeremy, just to be sure it would work out, but..."YES! I'll do it!" So, Tyler only had to be in daycare for a month of his life. He was not scarred, although I think I was. :)

I was able to keep that part-time accounting job, working from my home, for about 3 years. That's when Tucker came along. And by this time, Tyler was no longer napping, and I now had 2 children to take care of. Finding time to do this work became increasingly difficult. But once again, God provided. Jeremy had been given raises and promotions at work through the years that made it possible for me to quit my part-time job and focus on my current employment. Although each time we weren't sure just how the finances would work out, God provided for us and we have been just fine.

I know that there will be different stages of my life that this situation will change. There will be more things that God wants me to do, and I pray that I will be open to hearing and doing His will. But for now, I have peace in knowing that I am where He wants me to be - a wife and mother in our home.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Today

Today is just a day that I want to write. I'm not a writer by nature, but it really helps me get my thoughts and feelings in order. If I am just sitting, thinking, my mind wanders around. So, if I really want to sort out my thoughts and feelings, I write. I also do this with my prayers. If I am going to really spend some time in prayer, I get my journal out and write it out. (Although, typing is much faster and easier on the hands.)

Earlier today, I was typing out some thoughts and feelings that are quite frankly too personal to share with the world. But it really helped me feel better to get it out, even if it wasn't TO anyone. When I feel sad or depressed, I have a hard time getting myself out of it. But, God helped me through it today.

The sun is shining and the temperatures are just about perfect, so I opened the windows and let some fresh air in. As I was sitting on the couch, I noticed (again) all of the dog hair on the couches, so I decided to vacuum those, which takes a while with all the pillows and cushions on them. But, Tucker wanted to help too, so it turned out to be something that we worked on together.

Then, I took the vacuum to the window sills since I noticed how badly they needed cleaning when I opened them. They also got a good cleaning with some handy Clorox wipes. (I love those things!)

I know that this type of cleaning may sound painful to most of you (if anyone is reading this), but it is very therapeutic to me. With spring in the air, and my need to do something productive to raise my mood, cleaning is something that helps me feel better when my mood is down.

My dilemma usually comes when I get too focused on cleaning and my housework to spend the amount of time that I should with Tucker during the day when Tyler is at school. I can get pretty obsessed with my housework. There are so many times that I would LOVE to feel relaxed and free enough to just let it go and do something fun with my boys. But, for some reason, I seem to keep thinking about all of the things I could "just do real quick" before I pay attention to them. (If anyone has any advice for me, I'd love to hear it.)

But today, Tucker wanted to help, so it was a win/win situation. Perhaps he has realized that this is what Mommy does, and it is a good way to do something with me. We play a lot of games - board games, Wii games - and we even practiced writing some letters today. But, he typically plays so well by himself during the day that I have become accustomed to just letting him do that while I go about my business of housework and other things. I would love to change this, but am not sure how to start.

Well, I really feel like I am just rambling. This is kind of what I created this blog for... just to have a place to keep my thoughts and share some things going on in my life, whether anyone reads it or not. Thanks for reading this far. :)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Monday, March 8, 2010

Our first camping trip

The Bullock family went on their first camping trip this past weekend - TENT camping, that is. Let me just say that whoever figured out how to make those sleeping bags was smart! It was in the 30's both nights we were there (brrrr), but we were warm, as long as we were in our sleeping bags. The boys were ALL the way in theirs. You couldn't see them, but they were warm.

I'm very glad that Jeremy made the last minute trip to Cabela's to purchase them. We were going to borrow some, but they only had 3, so we were one short anyway. But, he decided he'd invest in some for us, especially since he only had to pay $20 for the wonderful, large tent we now have, among a few other things including another smaller tent, that he bought from someone from work that was moving out of the country.
Once the sun came up, it warmed up quickly. It was in the mid to upper 60's during the day, and it was beautiful! The boys had a BLAST! We were at Camp Avondale in Clinton, LA, which is a Boy Scouts of America campground, with our cub scouts pack, or at least a few of them. There were a few games and things planned for them to do, but we didn't even do any of it. As soon as they finished breakfast, the boys were off in the wooded areas around us on the trails, climbing up a tree stand, playing indians, ninjas, and I'm not quite sure what else. As the sun went down, the glow sticks came out, which immediately turned into light sabers. Star Wars began. They all loved every minute of it. They played hard from sun up until past sun down!

As for me, I mostly just got to sit in the sun and relax. It was wonderful. The boys played, and I watched from my seat. I could see them most of the time, and they were with their "buddies." A couple of times, we didn't hear or see any of the boys for a little while, so one of the other parents let out an indian cry, like the ones we had been hearing from them. Immediately, we started hearing the same sound coming from different parts of the woods. We knew right where they were. It was hilarious!

Jeremy did some fishing, as did Tyler and Tucker. Jeremy was teaching Tucker how to cast. You can never start that too early.
He was doing pretty well. We just weren't in a good, clear spot for him to practice in the water. So, his practice was in the grass. Then they went to the water, where Jeremy would cast and Tucker would reel it in. Jeremy did catch the only fish anyone caught the whole time, which Tyler proudly showed us all.
Tyler isn't a very patient fisherman at this stage in his life. He fished a little. I think he got a bite at one point, but it got away. He just went back to tromping through the woods with his cub scout buddies.

I think we got a good first time spoiling since we didn't have to do any of the food preparations. We brought snacks and drinks, but the pack leaders brought and prepared our meals. We had hot chocolate and pancakes and sausage for breakfast. Both boys ate their sausage, which they had turned their noses up to at home. And they both had hot chocolate.
I'm sure I'd like RV camping a little better for the convenience of it, but we really enjoyed sleeping in our tent, sitting around the campfire, basking in the sun, playing in the woods (getting really wet and muddy), and just enjoying nature without any TV,video games, or computers. And I barely even touched my iphone, even though I had service. :) I do wish that I had brought my book though. I didn't realize I'd be able to just sit almost all day without having to chase the boys wherever they were exploring. But we could see them at different points on their trail so we knew where they were.

Although the nights were cold, it wasn't the temperature that kept me awake most of the night both nights. There were cows not too far away from us. I never knew how loud cows were, and apparently they like to make a lot of noise when the sun goes down. We also heard coyotes, which concerned Tyler a little when he heard what it was. And what woke us up in the mornings, besides the sun, were geese flying in low and honking really loud. There were a couple of times that Tucker woke up a little disoriented, calling for both me and Tyler. Once he heard my voice, he went back to sleep, way down in his sleeping bag. So, they weren't restful nights of sleep by any means, but I still really enjoyed the trip.

I feel like I'm rambling on, so I'll bring this post to a close. We loved our first tent camping trip, and can't wait to go again. It's good for all of us to get out of the house, away from our technology, and into nature. And now that we've invested in some good sleeping bags, we need to use them!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

"Help Us Moms, Lord!"

Once again, God's timing in speaking His Word to me is amazing. I was quickly losing my patience with the boys not listening to me or obeying me this morning before school - to the point of tears in less than an hour after I even got out of bed. I should have just gotten up a little earlier to read this devotional...

http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2010/03/help-us-moms-lord.html