All I Need

At church yesterday morning, we sang a song that had the phrase, "I believe that He is all I need." As I sat there with a sleeping 3 year old in my lap (because he refused to go into his class), I had to really think about what I was singing.

I have sung many times, and know in my mind, that He is all I need. But, when I saw the "I believe" part at the beginning of that phrase, it made me stop and really think about that.

Do I really believe in my heart, not just know in my mind, that Jesus is ALL that I need?

I've been having a really hard time the past 2 weeks as Jeremy was out of town for a couple of days, and then he's had to be at work for long hours and even this weekend, both Saturday and Sunday. I just do not function well without him around to help me with the boys and to just BE here with me to talk to, look at, and do the things he does to keep me sane and happy.

So, this popped into my head as I'm examining my heart. If Christ is really all that I need, why am I so dependent on Jeremy for happiness and well-being? I am still working on figuring this out, but here are some of my thoughts.

At first, I thought that I'm just not near enough to God to let Him be truly all that I need. This is true, but I don't think that is all there is to it. I thought about the marriage relationship and what God intended it to be. "It is not good for man to be alone." God created man and woman to be "helpers." God put Jeremy in my life to help me, and for me to help him. God uses our spouse to bring us what we need in our lives, like love and friendship.

Although I do feel that my emotions and my state of mind may be a bit too dependent on Jeremy at times, I also do not want to discount our relationship and what God intended for us. I DO need Jeremy to help me keep my sanity many days, and I am much happier and function better when he is home more and available to me and the boys. It also helps to know that he would much rather be at home with us than at work, but sometimes he has to be there for longer hours and we just have to adjust to this (even if we don't do it very well). And I do not want to ever make him feel bad for having to work during these times. It is part of his job, and I understand this. He works hard to provide for us and I appreciate what he does, and that it enables me to stay at home with our children. But neither of us likes it when he has to be gone so much.

So, I guess I've come to the conclusion, at least at this point in writing, that I do believe that He (Jesus) is all that I need, but I need to work on the action part of this in relying on Him more to be my strength each day. I also believe that He has sent Jeremy to me and often times uses him to strengthen me and help me through hard times, and keep me happy through good ones. I keep my faith in God, and he sends people to me to provide what I need at that time, whether it be Jeremy or any of my other family or friends. I am thankful to God for giving me such wonderful, and godly, family and friends that I can turn to.