Emotional

My emotions are running pretty high right now. That's probably not the best time to blog. But the writing helps me work through my emotions. I'm on a roller coaster these days. My post entitled "Coming to Peace" explains some of the cause of this roller coaster ride. Here's more on that...

Our family will be moving to Japan within the next few months. Yep, the other side of the world from here. We will be there for about 2 years, then move to Singapore for about a year after that. Should I continue? Or is that enough explanation?

We are excited about this new chapter in our lives. It will be an adventure. Jeremy is actually there right now for work, staying for about a week and a half. That's the other cause of my emotional ride. I don't do very well without him. I'm pretty dependent on him for a lot of things, particularly making me feel calm and normal and happy. We are getting to Skype, which helps A LOT! But still, he's not here. I'm sure you all understand. Also, Tokyo is 15 hours ahead of us here, so figuring out a time to talk is a little bit of a challenge. I can't just call or text him when I feel like telling him something or hearing his voice because I'd have to wake him up to do it. But there is a good stretch in our afternoons that we can talk, depending on what time he wakes up over there. I was also up until about 1 am talking to him.

As far as the move goes...there are just so many decisions to make and preparations to handle that I tend to get a little stressed at times, although "overwhelmed" may be the more accurate term. Most of the stress is that I do not yet have instructions on what all I need to do. I've been told by others the things that they had to do, but I don't know details yet. So, it's really the unknown that worries me more than anything. I've actually been doing quite well, I think. I am in constant prayer, which is the only reason that I've not gone crazy yet. The Lord is teaching me so much through this experience. The lessons I'm learning, particularly to trust completely in Him, giving Him control of our circumstances, are essential.

I'm learning flexibility too! This has never been something that I'm very good at. I like to know ahead of time exactly how things should go so that I can plan and be prepared and just know what to expect going into something. This is NOT going to happen in this situation. I know that, and I've come to accept that.

Once we knew that we were going to move, we didn't really know when the move would be. The window was January to June of this year. We still don't really know. We thought in Dec that it would be around the end of Feb., but now it looks like it will be May/June. But that could change again too. This is hard for me. Again, it's the unknown. But it is one of the things God is using to teach me.

I'm taking things one day at a time, CHOOSING not to get stressed when I feel out of control over what's happening. I still feel overwhelmed at times, like today when other things start to stress me, like the boys not getting along and Jeremy isn't here to help with that. But I am not supposed to be in control. God is. And that's the thing I try to remember. He IS in control, so there is no need for me to worry.

And we really are excited about it all. Jeremy got to look at some apartments and houses that we could live in once we get over there. He was pleasantly surprised at what was available to us. He's also already getting more comfortable with the whole "big city" life that we are unaccustomed to. There are trains and subways and lots of walking and bike-riding that we will do to get around, and he's figuring that out after being there for just a few days.

There will be so many things that we will get to see and do while we live there that we are very much looking forward to. I'm going to have to start planning our weekend adventures now! That will probably be a better use of my time than the worrying. And the boys will be going to an amazing school, The American School in Japan (ASIJ). I'm excited for them and all that they will experience. And they are excited about the Sumo wrestling and the taekwondo. There are also several other people that are already living there that have children close to our kids' age, so that will be great for all of us!

Okay, I'm starting to calm down now and feel better. I read a little of the Psalms before I started writing too. I just needed the comfort. Hopefully Jeremy will be waking up soon and we can Skype and I'll be even better.